Having a newborn is a moment of joy for the two parents, friends and family, but on the other hand, thoughts on how to give this innocent child the very best in life will start to come to mind.
A good education is one of those things and sooner or later after few years at home, the child gets enrolled in the formal education system.
Before you know it, the race has started and this is the first point in which these young children start to fail in almost every aspect of their capabilities.
Let’s take it one at a time, highlighting 4 out of many other ways parents contribute to their kids’ disappointing performance in school and the way forward.
Is your child ready for school? Why in a hurry?
It amazes me to see a 7 or 8 year old in Junior Secondary School 1 – boarding house to be precise. Is this not heartless and uncaring on the part of a parent?
The truth is, even before secondary education, most parents have made their kids jumped classes in primary school, say from primary 3 to 5.
The question is; how old is your son or daughter? Did you spend enough quality time with him/her each day?
Parents have failed to discern by themselves the extent to which the receptive and perceptive powers of their kids are ready for the school system.
Most parents are too busy and have little or no time to spend with these kids. Instead, they push them into going to school, leaving their kids in the hands of teachers. I see it as some parents are so in a hurry.
No wonder the ones in primary school cry a lot on their way to school (expressing their emotional feelings of being hurt by leaving them in the hands of total strangers).
For those in boarding house, it’s like the world has come to an end. They become depressed. How do you expect them to concentrate in class and even do well in examinations?
Parents Selfish Interest
How well do you know your children?
Most parents don’t know the stuffs their kids are made of and this affects the performance of these kids in school.
You must have heard some parents saying; ‘I want my son to be a doctor’, neglecting all the facts, I mean several signals the kid has sent to be interested in art, nature, drawing or building.
Some kids can’t just be good at some courses. Parents just jump into conclusion, ignoring the interest of their kids and enrolling them into science or commercial class.
Truly, parents should be the ones to help their kids make this type of decision, but this decision will be accurate if enough quality time is being spent with their kids to know exactly what will suit each kid.
After all, a kid’s interest will be something he can do effortlessly and be curious to learn more about in school, thereby affecting performance in school positively.
Home Issues – Family Breakdown
Candidates for external examinations (like WAEC and NECO) need sound mind to be able to concentrate in class and do well in their examinations.
For example, some young girls in Senior Secondary School 3 (boarding house) could not concentrate in class and performed so badly in their examinations because they lived with their step mum at home.
There’s vacation after examination in school and during this period of preparing and writing papers, all that these young students could think of is; “in the next 10 days I’ll be going home to live under the same roof with that *wicked* woman (step mum)”. What do you think their performance will be?
Emotional struggles are like a pressure pot placed inside some kids. No one can see this. They are going through pains and helpless.
Parents should be there to provide not only material things for their kids but to cater for their emotional and psychological needs as well.
This will not only tell on the performance of their kids in school but on every aspect of the stages in their lives.
Little or No Time & Work on Each Child
I’m so proud to say that my mum and dad were my teachers before and during my primary education. They spent more than enough time with me and my siblings. Not every kid has this opportunity.
Right from the cradle, children learn things mostly through repetition. Come to think of how little kids know how to do things they’ve never done before, it is through repetition.
Sensory organs will be triggered; seeing, hearing, smelling etc. will come to play vital roles and before you know it, these kids know how to say something the way adults say it, and even distinguish between two different things.
One fact you may not know is that even a new born cries in his/her mothers’ language. Do your findings too and see how affections shown to young ones play an important role in their success.
Time spent with kids cannot be overemphasized but to be honest at the same time, it’s never been easy to do this. Parents just have to find that time.
For example, in the early years of schooling (primary education), children will have take-home assignments. How parents help their kids with these assignments go a long way. Helping each kid based on his/her perceptive powers will help those children perform well in school.
Parents should work on each kid to that extent in which the kids will know by themselves without telling them that it is their duty to read, to do their assignments, to wake up as early as possible and to prepare for school.
It takes enough time to achieve such a height but the effort is really worth it in the long run.
Until enough quality time is spent with kids and teaching them with every sense of friendliness and humor, their performance in school will be on the average or below average.
THE WAY FORWARD
The following points parents in a direction of possibilities to help their kids perform well in school.
Teachers Can’t Do Everything – It all starts from home
It’s painful that nowadays, some parents have neglected their responsibilities to their kids by leaving everything to teachers. The success of every child rests first on the shoulders of his/her parents, then the teachers.
I am a fan of the ideology of this saying that: “people can really see you more than you do, but they cannot understand you more than you do”
Parents are the ones with the core responsibility of helping each kid know what stuffs he/she is made of.
Right from when they are young, parents should devote time to being with their children and taking note of each of them. By doing that, they can absolutely know what a child is capable of doing and his/her weaknesses.
For example, I watched several movies on parental care, and I could see, parents in other developed countries have clips and video recordings of their children, what they are doing, what they loved doing, what makes them cry, what relieves them, what they like and other stuffs. This is a sign of great interest in wanting to know what their kids really are.
I am not teaching parent how to care for their children, they are good at that, but I am suggesting that caring is different from knowing what their kids are.
A kid may love to sing, endowed with a wonderful voice, another may be so great at drawing or painting, some may be endowed with speed, some could develop a great interest in animals, nature, ability to solve technical problems and for some, it could be repairing things or just talking.
I’m sure you do know what these kids could achieve with their gifts or talent or interest in today’s world. Why not help them achieve more with what they can do effortlessly?
At the early stage of their lives, it’s easy to help them set a path. That gives a sense of direction in everything starting from their nursery, primary and secondary education.
Parents would be in the best position to enroll their kids into science or commercial class, art or technical class not the teachers who haven’t spent up to a week with a kid.
Even at the university level, loving parents who have nurtured the gifts and talents of their children will play a vital role in helping them choose a course that fits or goes with what their kids really are as well as what’s needed out there.
The position of parents or guardians in the performance of their children is a continuous process and cannot be overemphasized.
Don’t Just Talk To Them, Talk With Them
How do you relate with your child? Do you shout at them every time and beat them up for every mistake they make?
Parents should be careful not to create an unending fear in their children. This will lead to nothing but loss of self confidence in these kids.
The moment a child is consumed by the fear a parent has unintentionally created, it will take more than enough time before such a kid can stand on his/her feet.
Parent should talk to their kids in a friendly tone. Let them know the real reason why they need to do what you want them to do. Without this, we will have confused children.
Talking with children is appealing. You get to their hearts by letting them know you care and are interested in them. Let them know you’ve once been in their shoes and you know the feelings one has when one fails or perform woefully in exams.
Let them know you’re here to help them succeed and most importantly, encouraging these kids and making them believe they can do better is a sure way to effect change.
Talking with and not just to kids will give room for feedback, and as parents, knowing where to work on will be clearly seen.
On a concluding note, consistency should be maintained in spending quality time with children, talking with them and making them believe in themselves.
Some successful students once had a poor academic background but with more work and help given to them, they started to perform excellently almost in every aspects of their lives.
Note: It took some time to put this together and I’ll really appreciate it if you consider giving this a share on your favorite social media platform.
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